Language

I am starting to adjust... well a little.

right now my time is centered around learning the language. i have been given the charge to spend 30-40 hrs a week on learning/practicing/ and studying the language. i have a tutor who is working with me five days a week for an hour or two each day. when we are studying together i feel like i've got it. i understand the sentence structure and i understand the words when i look at it.... then i walk out the door and my mind goes blank. i wish i could just know the language without having to go through so much work. but i am also learning- which my mind already knew- that i am appreciating the people and the language more by putting in the effort. As a part of my language study i have to go out in the city to practice with locals. i can practice with my taxi driver, the shop keeper, this wonderful woman who runs a beauty shop near my house and any of her patrons. it sounds all good and well but it is the most nerve racking thing i do everyday. i get anxious every morning i wake up when i think about having to go out and talk to some strangers today. once i get out-its not that bad. the people are really nice, and they genuinely want to help. but still i get scared every morning. at night i think about the next day with big plans... "tomorrow i am going to get up early, hang out with L today for a little while in her beauty shop then i'm going to the market to get some eggs and talk with the shop keepers. if i meet anyone on the way- i will say hi and practice with them too. then i will go to my tutor and speak with her and learn even more!..." then when i wake up, i lay there.. then i eat something.. then i think about what movie i could watch today. its very discouraging... but my body and my mind will not cooperate.

i enjoy spending time with the people, and meeting people that can help me learn the language. its just the going out that i cant mentally prepare for.

i am doing well and i dont have a lot to update on. i'm learning the language- that my soul mission right now.(i spelled soul that way on purpose)

i love all you guys back at home- and other places. please Pry that i can get outside myself and learn the most possible.
over-n-out.